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11 November 2014 @ 08:03 pm
love_bingo: Whitechapel - "Because It's You"  
Title: Because It's You
Author: megan_moonlight
Date of Posting: November 11th, 2014
Rating: G
Fandom: Whitechapel
Characters/Pairings: Chandler/Kent
Disclaimer: Characters © Carnival Films. I make no money from this.
Summary: Maybe Emerson was not prepared for what he'd heard, but he won't let Chandler go.
Spoilers: Slight spoilers from the final episode of S4.
Warnings: None
Beta: ad00absurdum
Author's Notes: Written for Round 02 of love_bingo for the prompt "Asexuality". And also a fic for Asexuality Awareness Week, even though it's a bit late. Sorry for that. I'll try better next time.
I realized I failed to finish my bingo card on time, but I wanted to post the fic anyway. I hate leaving challenges unfinished. Also, I was really determined to write this fic.
It's my first try writing anything for Whitechapel. I was inspired by all the conversations with ad00absurdum, who introduced me to this amazing show. I adore it, I adore these characters and I enjoyed writing this fic. I hope you'll enjoy it as well, guys.
Mentioned at: At AO3 *HERE*

*Because It’s You*

Emerson Kent was sitting in the living room, wondering what to do next. It wasn’t a situation he’d ever been in before. And honestly? He had no idea how to proceed, even if he was in his own flat, sitting on his own couch, looking at the door to his own bathroom. The door behind which Detective Inspector Joseph Chandler disappeared about five minutes ago. Leaving Kent alone and a bit lost.

He couldn’t help feeling worried, too. Trying to think about anything that he could have done to cause Chandler to react like that, he recalled everything that had happened in the last two hours.

This was actually their second meeting, and after making sure his flatmates were doing something else that evening, Emerson suggested spending some time together in his flat. He was really nervous about the whole thing (he promised himself he would start working on that, getting nervous each time he asked Chandler anything would quickly get embarrassing. For both of them, most likely). However, remembering Chandler’s smile, a small but genuine smile, when he agreed to the meeting, never failed to make Emerson ecstatic. And Chandler seemed to be pleased about it as well, which was a bonus in itself.

They came to the flat right after work. The previous day Emerson bought tea, biscuits and all the ingredients to prepare dinner if they got hungry at some point (he did not want to assume anything, so this option stayed open, just in case). They sat in the living room and talked. With every passing minute Emerson became more convinced of the fact that he just liked spending time with Chandler in general, didn't matter what they were doing. The talking, the closeness, seeing the corner of Chandler’s mouth rising in a half-smile as Emerson told him some of the stories about Erica, it was just good to share all of this with someone. But apparently Emerson went too far.

One moment they were on the couch, Chandler’s leg pressing gently against his, their shoulders almost touching, Emerson very aware of Chandler’s warmth. The next moment, Chandler got up, put his cup on the table with more force than Emerson expected and left the room muttering “excuse me.” He went to the bathroom, but not out of the flat. Small victories. Still, Emerson was startled by the sudden action.

On one hand he really wanted to make sure Chandler was okay. On the other, he felt like giving him some space, something he learnt the other man needed when he was anxious or hesitant. All the instances when Chandler left his office during the case to go to the bathroom came to Emerson’s mind right then.

He heard the water running and he wiped his hands on his trousers nervously. Looking at Chandler’s abandoned cup on the table he put his own right next to it so they were almost touching and went to the bathroom.

The door weren’t closed, just as he hoped. Good. Emerson could see Chandler standing there leaning against the sink quietly. He noticed how tense the other man was, how tightly he gripped the edge of the sink. What should he to do next? The urge to just step closer to Chandler, take his hands and wrap his arms around him was strong, but Emerson had a feeling it would only make the situation worse. He just couldn’t push the poor man like that, knowing that he needed space. Emerson could give him that. Biting his lip, he opened the door wider, letting Chandler know that he was there.

When the DI did not react Emerson sat on the edge of the bathtub silently and waited for the man’s next move. The silence lasted about five minutes (though it definitely seemed longer right then) before Chandler spoke, still not looking at him.

“I’m sorry, Emerson.” Only then he turned and sat down as well, keeping a safe distance between them. Emerson understood, but it was hard not to feel a bit hurt by that.

The feelings they decided to explore together, everything that was between them, was still vulnerable, fragile and Emerson knew that. He really wanted to show his DI that he really meant what he said when they talked about their relationship for the first time, after Chandler finally agreed to go with him to the pub. Emerson was gobsmacked by that, to say the least, but he told Chandler it would be fine. He knew it would be.

“It’s okay, you know,” Emerson said quietly and smiled, hoping it would reassure Chandler at least a little bit, and put his hand next to the other man’s, not quite touching. Just close enough for Chandler to reach for it. If he wanted to, that is. Emerson really hoped he wanted to. “It really is.”

“It’s not. I can’t even...” he broke off and sighed. “You deserve better, you know. You are young, you deserve someone who can offer you much more than... much more than I can.”

Emerson blinked at that, feeling a bit lost. That was not what he expected to hear. “Excuse me, sir, but I think I know who I want and what I deserve.”

“I think I’m not explaining this right. I just don’t think it’s...”

“Sir, I told you it’s fine, didn't I?”

He did not say anything else, but Emerson noticed Chandler looking at his hand, his fingers tapping against the edge of the tub gently, as if he was considering moving his hand from there.

“Why?” he asked finally and Emerson sighed. At least he didn’t have to think about the answer to this question. He knew how he felt. He waited for Chandler to look him in the eyes before saying:

“I told you before. Because it’s you.”

Chandler did not reply, only exhaled softly, looking as if he was considering something. When he got up after a few seconds, Emerson held his breath, afraid he said something wrong after all. He was about to apologize, which was difficult when he was so close to hyperventilating, but Chandler started slowly washing his hands and Emerson decided to stay quiet for now. When the other man was done he looked at the towels hanging next to the sink. He looked troubled for a second and only then Emerson got up and handed him a fresh towel from the shelf. Chandler took right away with gratitude.

“Thank you,” he said quietly.

“No problem.”

Hanging the towel next to the others, Chandler sighed, as if relieved, and after squeezing the cloth gently he let go of it and looked at the door. “Maybe we could go to the living room again?” he asked uncertainly. “I believe it will be more comfortable for both of us?”

“Yeah, okay . Come on. I’ll make us more tea.”

After getting two cups of tea, Emerson sat on the couch, putting one cup in front of Chandler. He left a bit of space between them but surprisingly, Chandler, after a few uncertain seconds of glancing at him, moved a bit closer, sitting just as close to Emerson as when they were in the bathroom. The DI still looked uncomfortable, as if afraid Emerson had changed his mind after all. Well, it was okay, Emerson would just have to keep reassuring him, but he really didn't mind. Reassuring he could do.

“Are you sure?” Chandler asked. “The physical part of the relationship, I don’t really... I don’t do that,” he added in a quieter tone. “It’s not you. I just...” Chandler glanced at him, and Emerson touched his hand gently. The DI didn’t move it and Emerson bit his lip nervously.

He did not expect to hear that, not at all. For a moment he felt a bit lost. He knew one thing, however. He hated seeing Chandler looking so... vulnerable and uncertain, and he had to do something about that. Exhaling softly, he squeezed Chandler’s hand.

“At all?” he asked finally and when Chandler looked down at his cup of tea, he hoped he won't say anything wrong. “Well, there are always other things that we can do, yeah? We’ll just have to... learn.”

“I am not really good at this, as you can probably say by now,” The other man said and Emerson couldn’t help but smile at that. Chandler still looked uneasy but he was not leaving and that counted as a win. “And I just know that sooner or later I will do something that will make you realize that this might not have been a very good idea after all and...”

“Well, so will I, I guess. Do something stupid sooner or later, that is. Just wait until you meet my flatmates and Erica. Or see me in the morning or...” Emerson broke off, only then realizing what exactly he had said. He did not mean to say that. Not at all. He could already feel himself blushing at the image that came to his mind. “I’m sorry... that was not what I meant to say. ”

This time, it was Chandler who smiled and Emerson couldn’t really not smile back, even if he was a bit embarrassed. That did not go how he planned it, but if it worked...

“So? Do you still want to give it a chance?” he asked, preparing himself for Chandler’s answer.

Chandler exhaled and looked more relaxed. Seeing this look on his face was definitely worth of the embarrassment. It was answer enough. Even if they ended up sitting in silence for the rest of the night and doing nothing, Emerson was sure he would never want to be anywhere else.

*Mood*: artisticartistic
Ad Absurdum: tumblr - trolololad00absurdum on November 11th, 2014 09:12 pm (UTC)
Aww, I'm so proud. My trolling created a Witechapel fanfic writer *wipes a tear*.

Also, post it to whitechapel_itv - let more people see it.
Megan Moonlight: hadesmegan_moonlight on November 13th, 2014 07:38 pm (UTC)
You're so full of yourself, you troll XD

Okay, okay, we'll see :P
Megan Moonlight: teamegan_moonlight on November 14th, 2014 09:05 pm (UTC)

May I ask you something?
You see, I signed up for happy_trekmas exchange and I kind of finished a fic... and I wanted to ask, will you be able to beta it? (grammar only). It's 2300 words for Star Trek AOS.
The thing is, the deadline for sending assignments is 24th November and I should send the fic before 24th. Will you be able to help me?

In exchange I can promise to make looooots of Whitechapel icons or write a fic for you, if you'd prefer :)

Also, just so you know, I left some prompts for Whitechapel on the smallfandomfest list :)
Ad Absurdum: whitechapel - kent :)ad00absurdum on November 15th, 2014 05:29 pm (UTC)
Oh all right. I actually have a week off work now - for Camerimage (hehehe, Alan Rickman's gonna come) - so I'll be able to take a look at your fic.

And I certainly won't say no to anything Whitechapel-ish you choose to produce :)

P.S. Just took a look at your Whitechapel prompts at smallfandomfest. I am vaguely tempted by Riley & Kent - truth or dare. Hmm, maybe I could even manage to fit it into my Demon!Kent universe *trololol*

Edited at 2014-11-15 05:38 pm (UTC)
Megan Moonlight: thankyoumegan_moonlight on November 15th, 2014 06:50 pm (UTC)
YAY. Thank you so much! You're saving my life :D I'll send the fic to you right away.

Okay, then. I'll definitely think of something pretty!

BUAHAHAHA. I'm glad I managed to inspire you somehow. I'm actually considering leaving more prompts soon - and probably more for Riley and Kent's friendship, because I just can't resist Riley trolling Kent XD We'll see. So many small fandoms to choose from... I hope somebody writes something, because it'd be sad if I had to write for my own prompts *lol*
verdande_miverdande_mi on November 12th, 2014 10:02 pm (UTC)
Ah this pairing ♥ and an excellent what if! When I picture these two there's lots of quiet moments and space, but still this spark, pull and closeness, and you wrote all of that wonderfully. Thanks for sharing :)
Megan Moonlight: heartmegan_moonlight on November 13th, 2014 07:22 pm (UTC)
Oh, I didn't know you like this show! It's so awesome :D

Thank you so much for the comment and I'm glad you enjoyed the fic. I was a bit self-conscious about writing this, so your feedback means a lot to me *hugs*
verdande_miverdande_mi on November 15th, 2014 05:56 pm (UTC)
It is and it's a shame it ended too soon!

You're welcome :D I'd be happy to